Friday, June 30, 2006

TUSH: by Jaffe Cohen

I am PROUD to announce the publication of my friend, Jaffe's, first novel, TUSH! Not only can you check it out on AMAZON, but you can purchase it in your local bookstores in July! If your bookstore doesn't have it, please ask them to order it.


Jaffe will also be on tour and part of his tour will be in our wonderful city of NEW YORK, so if you are local, send me an email and arrange to go with me to see him! He is HILARIOUS!!! Here are details for the NYC events:

Jaffe Cohen
The "Tush" Tour
Come spend an evening with one of the original Funny Gay Males as he celebrates the publication of his first novel Tush. With surprise guests!

WHERE: Don't Tell Mama; 343 W. 46 Street
WHEN: Mondays at 9 PM; July 24-August 14
HOW: $10 cover; 2 drink minimum


Monday, June 26, 2006

Long Journey Home

Patience, my dears... when I land from this flight of transition, I will write about the adventures that have befallen me. Some good, some terrible, but all of them a part of me and my life, so I gotta love it all.

Keep rooting for me to find "home!"

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

And I have to Juggle, too!

NOT ME (but like me)

Well, this morning moves me into the next tightrope walk into the circus that is my life. I will have a two-part move, since I have not secured my own apartment, yet, so my stuff is being moved with Cyprus's and I am going to stay SOMEWHERE (anyone want a CocteauBoy on their couch for a few days?) as I try to juggle work, finding an apartment, and recovering from the on-going blows of life. It's all good, though. I was born in a town that has a permanent Big Top, and is hailed as the "Circus City Capital of the World," so I can handle all of this: the tightropes, the juggling, and distractions, comedies, drama, and still manage to keep my smile real.

I'll let you know where I finally land. And I have some amazing updates to log here very soon!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Escape From Brooklyn

Well, here is an unhappy update on the attacks that happen weekly, if not daily, in and around my neighborhood (on a side note: despite my general, happy demeanor, it has come to my attention that nothing good has happened in my life since moving to Brooklyn):

1. An older neighbor woman with a busted up leg who can barely walk her two dogs was attacked by a Black man who was involved in a violent, loud physical brawl with his wife/girlfriend in the middle of the street. As my neighbor hobbled by, the man rushed over to her, started screaming into her face, but she was suddenly more terrified for her dogs than anything, so she started scrambling to keep them close to her. She couldn't understand a word he was screaming into her face, but as she ducked to pick up one of her dogs, she barely missed the swing of this man's fist toward her face. Her reaction of shock must have put this man back into some semblance of humanity and instead of swinging at her face again, he stepped back and told her he would "be back in a few days to kill her." THIS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE in the middle of the day on a disabled, older woman! This kind of random violence makes NO sense to me.

2. Cyprus was on her way home from the subway, walking up to our block, when she noticed a van with its back windows busted out. A car was parked close to the back of van and the van was being unloaded into the car by two Black men. She could tell this was a crime, but kept walking, and as she neared our building, she called the police. It turns out that it WAS a robbery and somebody's parked van was just being completely emptied of all of its contents. Detectives are coming to our home on Monday night so Cyprus can see if she recognizes any mugshots. She only saw one of the men very clearly, and she is not pointing out anyone unless it is very clear that it is the same man.

3. On the way home from the subway this week, Johnny was on his cell phone talking to a friend when 3 Black teens on a single bicycle rushed him and smacked his cell phone from his ear and out of his hand, smashing to the ground from the force. The phone broke into pieces. Before Johnny could get the main body of the phone back, one of them jumped from the bike and grabbed it up, thrusting his chest out at Johnny to challenge him. Then they all took off... with his phone. Johnny was shocked and then immediately furious and picked up a brick and hurled it at the fuckers, but not in a way that would hit them.

4. Rising up from the street the other day, I heard a woman screaming violent obscenities at someone, "You muthuh fuckn nigguh, I's gonna kill you, you fuckn muthuh fuckn nigguh! I'll fuckn rip out yor fuckn throat, muthuh fuckuh!" and this went on long enough for me to get to the window to see what could possibly warrant this kind of screaming on the street. It was a Black woman reprimanding a child as the kid slinked behind her in the shadows of her public screams of violent threats. She remained "talking" to this child in this manner all the way down the street. I don't know if this child was her son, but she was an adult and he was a child. That's all I know for sure and it was sickening. I just don't get it.

I cannot wait to get out of my neighborhood, and maybe even Brooklyn. I have grown to despise this element of living out here. Brooklyn is this amazing, wonderful, beautiful part of New York City, made ugly by these attacks that happen weekly in my life to someone around my neighborhood.

In Manhattan, I know of no one who has ever been attacked (even though I know people DO get attacked; I just don't know of anyone), but I don't think I have met a single person in Brooklyn who hasn't been attacked in some form. I had a few close-calls in Manhattan, one from a White guy, one Black, and one Hispanic; so I know it's not a Race thing... people are just people, and people can be violent and stupid, but in my current neighborhood of Brooklyn, it just happens to be a Black thing... or more specifically, a Class thing that is exacerbated by entitlement. What with all of these annoying, subsidized hipsters moving into the heart of an area swarming with government-subsidized project communities, the tension is bound to be raised.

Still, there are absolutely no excuses for these random, violent acts, even if perpetuated by economic imbalances. I'm at a loss as to what can be done, but I feel a little defeated for all of us. I hate that I have to worry about my physical well-being, just to go to the grocery store in the middle of the day. I hate that I fear walking my dog in my neighborhood, and that I now just can't wait to get away from Brooklyn.

My relationship with Brooklyn is a bit like dating someone who is neglectful and abusive, but who is so charming and beautiful. What with my being dumped by Clem, and my friendships with Cyprus and Nick in shambles, there is little reason to keep holding on to my romantic idea of Brooklyn.

In a few days I have to find SOMEWHERE to live, and I am still looking, so we'll see what happens...

Thursday, June 15, 2006

I Need You So Much Closer


Life is never just Black & White, but filled with a spectrum of shades, hues, and colors that help blend into even the most contrasting of moments. I'm walking into that bridge between colors today as I adjust to the shock of contrast between the naive assumption of everlasting Love, and the reality of the ebb and flow of relationships.

Clem broke up with me last night. Over the phone.

This morning he stopped by to bring my stuff from his apartment and to take back his things left here, before he scampers off to his Fire Island vacation. It's amazing how quickly two lives can become entangled in such a way, like secret threads of each other represented in Things... weaving in and out of each other's space. If this happens on the physical level, it must happen on the emotional and intellectual levels, too.

And this is why these divisions hurt so much: the pulling apart of interwoven lives; the unraveling of everything that was intended. We gather up the yarn of our wishes and wants and try to make something different from that.

I'm writing that Life is "never just Black & White" because it wouldn't be fair to portray Clem as having done something wrong or horrible or hurtful. That wasn't his intention and I believe he is telling the truth about how much he really loves me... despite the fact that he no longer wants to be my boyfriend.

I've heard this before, which is why I am surrounded by Exes now standing as Best Friends.

I love you, Clemente. I will really miss us...

...a lot.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

My Limbo and Flux You TWO

Yeesh, I don't think any other blog entry has spawned such polarized reactions as my entry trying to celebrate my efforts to sustain and fulfill MY version of living life vs someone else's idea about how to live life. People either read it for what it was, or they read it as a slam against "the mainstream" and just left it at that.

Listen... my post to celebrate and cheer on my efforts to be myself, honor myself, and try to strike a balance in a world full of pressure to conform to a standard, was just THAT... my celebration and cheering on of myself. It wasn't a slam against those of you who CHOOSE to participate in "the mainstream" and it wasn't a slam against those whose dreams happen to coincide with what the mainstream expects of you. That is a lucky and beautiful thing, and if my way of living, or my dreams coincided with the mainstream, I would be delighted.

My angle of distaste was directed toward those who succumb to the pressure to be a cog in the wheel of life, who then bitterly enforce that same defeat upon others; it was also directed toward those who are lucky enough to have their goals and dreams be perfectly in alignment with the mainstream, who then stand in contempt and arrogance over others using smug justifications. THEY are the "walking dead" and those afraid of splashing about in the waters of uncertainty in life. THEY are the zombies who just want to bite you and make you one of them.

So if your dreams align with the mainstream... maybe try to generate some gratitude for that wonderful position you have in life, and try to generate some compassion for those of us who feel a design to do differently.

We are all trying to get to the same places, so don't be a hater, 'k?