Wholeness of Soul Program 2005 - 2006

WHOLENESS OF SOUL PROGRAM
2005 – 2006
INVITATION & ITINERARY

This is what I have sent out to my community and friends as an invitation to a course I am teaching this year. If you are not familiar with all of the terms below, or you are new to the my work in any way, please see 7Paths for a Quick Introduction. There is a more thorough introduction to the Basic Teachings available there, too, along with a Glossary.

Okay, I am SO excited to finally be ready to offer this to all of you! Please feel free to share with everyone you know who might benefit from something this adventurous, exciting, and potentially important!

Wholeness of Soul is a course that was experimentally introduced in the year 2002. A tentative group formed and committed to the process that would come to be known as Wholeness of Soul. The results for all of us have proven to be so validating and powerful that I have chosen this course to be the basis of my first published book! I wanted to offer the course one more time, in different ways, before finalizing what I would create in book-form. In essence, each of you who participate will be a little, beautiful piece of history in the ever-unfolding library of The Michael Teachings!

The idea for WholeSouls came from my wondering what it would be like if I asked Michael exactly what the process would be if one were to want to completely embrace and/or transform one’s life. The initial response was an outline that would be painstakingly filled in over the next 2 years. On a fairly regular, monthly basis, Michael shared with us the deeper workings of our Personality, Essence, Life, and Relationships, extending into territory none of us could have anticipated. It felt like we were turned inside out, with the discovery that everything is more alive and beautiful than we ever let ourselves believe about our world, ourselves, and our loves. The personal, intimate, deeply moving exploration changed all of our lives on some level in quite profound ways.

When I had presented the idea to Michael, and after they had offered an outline, they then helped me define the phrase “Wholeness of Soul.” Michael described this state as something that is more an on-going process than it is a state of conclusion. Wholeness is not something that is ever completed and preciously folded into the life, but it’s more about the ability to access the totality of skills you already have, and how to gain the ones you may lack, so as to manage, create, accept, or transform ANYTHING & EVERYTHING in your life!

Most of the original group will gladly tell you that their lives have changed and that the course was far more meaningful than ever expected, but they will also tell you that life goes on and that it is the skills gained that made the difference. No one is ultimately completed; sitting, waiting to be ascended into some state of ultra-enlightenment. Most of us just feel as if we have been altered in dramatic, yet soft, loving ways that allow us to manage and create life far better, to manage and create relationships more lovingly, and to always choose Peace over Panic.

I’m not going to lie to you. This course takes EFFORT. It’s not a Quick Fix, but considering the span of a lifetime, putting effort into 6 months to a year for the sake of lovingly expanding your possibilities and unleashing your potential,… well, you are worth it.

I wish I could offer this course for free, but I choose to honor the time and energy it will take me, and has taken me, to create, channel, edit, and commit to this. I hope you can appreciate my choice. I will gladly work with any of you who might need a generous hand in accessing the course, but it will be very important for you to assume you can eventually manage to swing the cost. The experience of the course, itself, will have its own prosperous effect on you in the end! When you break down everything that is available in this course, you will see that this is actually an amazingly minor financial investment for the return. I hope you all will consider, and please invite others beyond our little “rogue” group. All are welcome!

JOINING A COURSE

PREREQUISITE: Essence & Personality Profile
If you do not have yours already, you will receive yours when the course begins.
PAYMENT:
Send me an email request for the course you choose. You will receive a personalized, secure, payment link. 50% is required to start the course, unless otherwise negotiated privately.

This course will be offered in THREE forms:

WS1Y (SUNDAY, MAY 29th @ 1pm – 3pm ET ONLINE)
One Year IN-DEPTH Course = $600 (can be paid in installments)
The One-Year Course entails: Two Hours of class each month; within 48 hours Email responses for Support with your homework; Private Forum access for Journaling and Homework, Monthly release of each Chapter of the Course; 3 Crisis Credits (1 credit equals email responses from Michael within 24 hours to one question during difficult challenges during the course); One Hour Post-Graduate Private Session (to be scheduled 30 days AFTER graduation) (bonus: those who pay in full receive 90 Minutes ADDITIONAL Private Channeling to be claimed at any time in any increments during the course). Missed classes are simply “made up” on your own time.

WS6M (begins SATURDAY, MAY 28th / New Chapter every 2 weeks)
Six Month EXPRESS Course = $300 (can be paid in installments)
The Six Month Course entails: requires tremendous amount of self-monitoring and responsibility; E-Handbook (one chapter every two weeks); Use of Private part of 7Paths Forum for unscheduled interaction and journaling; 5 Crisis Credits (1 Credit allows email response from Michael within 24 hours to one question during difficult challenges during the course); 30 Minute Post-Graduate Private Session (to be scheduled AFTER 30 days AFTER graduation) (bonus: those who pay in full receive 60 Minutes ADDITIONAL Private Channeling to be claimed at any time in any increments during the course). Missed classes are simply “made up” on your own time.

NOTE: Those who have already graduated from WholeSouls can participate in either group for FREE. You may participate, but you will not receive the bonuses or post graduate channeling. You will not receive Crisis Credits. You may participate in chats, forum interaction, journaling, offering support to other students, and you will receive the newly edited and completed WholeSouls Book.

WSNY
(begins SATURDAY, May 28th @ 6pm – 8pm / negotiable after group forms)
NYC WHOLESOULS COURSE = $600 (can be paid in installments)
If you are local to NYC and would like to participate in this course LIVE, in-person, please contact me ASAP! The LIVE course will be quite intense and VERY exciting to try in person! Details and arrangements will be sent to you! NYC Course also begins in MAY, is a 12 Month Course with monthly 2 hour sessions, Private Forum access for Journaling and Homework, monthly release of Chapters from the book, 60 minutes of LIVE channeling to be claimed 30 days AFTER graduation, and this version of the course is completed with an actual Graduation Ceremony! NYC Course includes 3 credits for the option of sitting in on an online class, if the local group cannot be met for any reason. (bonus: those who pay in full receive 60 minutes ADDITIONAL channeling that can be claimed by Phone, Online, or In-Person, in any increments during the course!)

WHOLESOULS ITINERARY

Session A
Chapter One

"The Instinctive Center and issues of Self-Reliance"

Synopsis:
Discussion as to the Instinctive Center’s nature and function, as well as choosing methods to discover your deeper, personal fear patterns that block you from freedom and joy. Topic will include discussion and details for understanding and immediately transforming your primary and secondary fear patterns that create challenges to your successes, and to intimacy, respectively. This session helps you learn to navigate WITH your fear, rather than being consumed by, or fighting against, your basic fears.

(NOTE: Help will be given for inviting contact with an inner or spiritual Guide for this course, as this will be vital for your support over the next many months.)


Session B
Chapter Two

"The Moving Center and issues of Self-Confidence"

Synopsis:
We will discuss the Moving Center’s nature and function, as well as how this particular Center manages your experiences of Success, Failure, the Body, and the Physical Plane. Topic will include discussion and details for understanding your Body Type and its inherent SHAME for this lifetime and how this ties into all of your Physical Plane struggles.


Session C
Chapter 3

"The Intellectual Center and issues of Self-Expression"

Synopsis:
We will discuss the Intellectual Center’s nature and function, as well as how this particular center manages your Beliefs, Expression, Honesty, and Communication. Topic will include discussion and details for understanding your Personality Attitude (your inherent philosophy) for the lifetime and how this ties into all of your understanding, perceptions, and interpretations of experiences.


Session D
Chapter 4

"The Emotional Center and issues of Self-Love"

Synopsis:
Discussion as to the Emotional Center’s nature and function, as well as how this particular center manages your Relationships within and without, addressing attachments to things such as Abandonment, Betrayal, and Envy. This Topic will include discussion and details for understanding your Personality Mode (method of approach to life and intimacy) for the lifetime and how to consciously facilitate it toward harmonizing your interactions and relationships.


Session E
Chapter 5

"The Higher Moving Center and issues of Essence-Harmony and Self-Care"

Synopsis:
Discussion as to the Higher Moving Center’s nature and function, as well as how this particular center uses Humor as a navigational tool with Laughter as its manifestation. We will discuss methods for how to easily access this center for immediate embrace or transformation in areas of isolation, chaos, discord, mistreatment, sadness, sedation, addiction, lethargy, and lack. This topic will address exactly what your Essence (soul) is specifically seeking and how this ties into your Goal (your primary motivation) for the lifetime.


Session F
Chapter 6

"The Higher Emotional Center and issues of Essence-Ecstasy and Self-Exploration"

Synopsis:
We will have discussion as to the Higher Emotional Center’s nature and function, as well as how this particular center uses Happiness as a navigational tool with Pleasure or Ecstasy as its manifestation. We will discover methods for how to easily access this center for embrace or transformation in areas of inspiration, intuition, choice, decisions, acceptance, and dilemmas. This topic will address exactly where Essence is in terms of your Soul Age and Level and what lessons and contexts are brought to bear through your specific stage of growth at this point.


Session G
Chapter 7

"The Higher Intellectual Center and issues of Essence-Awareness and Self-awareness"

Synopsis:
We will have discussion as to the Higher Intellectual Center’s nature and function, as well as how this particular center uses Truth as a navigational tool with Tears as the manifestation. When tears are involved, there is always a Truth being explored. We will discuss methods for how to easily access this center for embrace or transformation in areas of obsession, plans, details, control, surrender, difficulties, comprehension, trust, and spirituality. This topic will address exactly what your Essence is in terms of your Role (the way your soul expresses itself) and its particular themes across all of its lifetimes, discovering your Essence’s specific contribution to its Entity and Cadre.


Session H
Chapter 8

"Assessment, Assimilation, and Integration"

Synopsis:
This class will focus on all that has come to be shared and discovered over the first 7 classes, assessing where you are within that process, help in assimilating some of the more challenging details, and methods for truly owning and integrating the information-to-date. This session is for Personal Questions and Answers with Michael. A very different, casual, and intimate form of dialogue with Michael will be a part of the session; far more intimate and personal than with what you may be familiar.


Session I
Chapter 9

"Tools of Navigation for the Personality"

Synopsis:
Based on yours and Michael's assessment session, they will now offer suggestions of specific, customized tools for you to acquire, develop, and use for the remainder of the course, if not for the rest of your life. Michael will then discuss the practical uses of these tools, how to make them a part of your Personality and Essence, and how to begin to own the process of directing your life's creation or unfolding.


Session J
Chapter 10

"Beyond Self"

Synopsis:
Michael will help each of you explore the very basics of your Support Group for this lifetime. A Support Group is a circle of 12 Positions in your life that, when filled, opens your life to be lived to its fullest potential. Michael will help us define, identify, and attract these very important, vital people so that these Positions are never left unfulfilled again. You will, in turn, discover which Position you are inclined to fulfill in other Support Groups. You will never trick yourself into thinking you are alone again after this.


Session K
Chapter 11

"Beyond Essence"

Synopsis:
Michael will help each of us find specific ways to validate our support that comes from beyond Essence in the form of Guides, 'God', and/or any other forms of Energy. Michael will help us discover the "Kingdoms" of which we may be a part, as well as Teachers with which we may have further Agreements for study and evolution. After this session, Michael may begin meeting with each of you individually in a form or manner that you will have discovered as valid so as to teach you more specifically and long-term, if you choose.


Session L
Chapter 12

"Accepting Wholeness"

Synopsis:
This would ideally be our final session, focusing on any final areas of importance and direction as we have gained our new integration of physical and metaphysical tools for handling ALL areas of life, whether in challenge or in freedom. This will be a session focused on a 'graduation' of sorts. Michael will have an updated commentary for each of us in terms of what may or may not have profoundly changed because of this course.

BONUS GATHERING: each group will have a “family reunion” 6 months after the course ends, so as to see how each of us is doing!

The Interview of "Jane Doe" & Tara!

Okay, we have a couple more brave souls who are ready to be opened like a book...

Let's peek inside the pages of these two and see what we find. Remember the way this works? I post the interview questions HERE; TARA and "JANE" will then copy the questions to THEIR blog and respond to those questions in their own blogs. If you'd like to be interviewed, just see the rules at the bottom of this post. It's fun!

THE JANE DOE PROJECT
i am the other woman

THE INTERVIEW

Actually, I am NOT interviewing "Jane." That's just the name of her blog. JANE DOE is the anonymous name used to refer to the wife of the husband with which this blogger is apparently having an affair! INTRIGUED??!! Read on...

1. If you could describe yourself through the lyrics or title of a song, what would that be and why?

2. Considering the anonymity of your blog name and profile, do you find this gives you more freedom to be "you?" Explain.

3. Considering the content of your blog (which is riviting, btw), what do you find sacred in an intimate relationship, if anything at all?

4. Is the content of your blog fiction, and if not, do you plan to reveal yourself to the "Jane" to which you write? Do you know her, see her, regularly in your life?

5. The isolation and secrecy of an affair can be as utterly lonely as it is deliciously exciting; however there is ALWAYS an element of unfulfillment. What is the worst and best thing about your being in the position in which you find yourself with this husband?


TARA'S ONLINE JOURNAL
THE INTERVIEW

Tara is a fellow student of life and shares with me in the exciting studies offered from the channeled entity known as "Michael." I know her through my own work with channeling and writing through my web site and forum. She's such a delightful, spirited gal! Let's see what's inside; shall we?

1. You seem to be a person who is inclined toward the use of divinition tools or other symbolic mediums for navigating life. What is your favorite method and how often do you turn to it for guidance?

2. I know you are a student of "The Michael Teachings." What is it about the information that makes so much sense to you? How do you find you use it in your life?

3. I think I remember reading that you have an extensive background knowledge of Christianity. How do you find you extract and use the wisdom of Christianity, while also knowing how violent, oppressive, and divisive religion is, in general, but specifically Christianity? What phrase or short description would you use to describe the very basic teachings of Christianity?

4. Describe an experience that might have left you convinced that there is an afterlife, or at least that Consciousness may survive death.

5. In what way do you feel you express yourself the clearest as if from your soul? What medium of expression do you use? Do certain requirements need to be fulfilled before you feel you have that kind of freedom of expression?

If you are interested in being interviewed by me, here are the rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me.”
2.I will respond by asking you five questions here. They will be different
questions than the ones above.
3. You will update YOUR blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Blogger Censorship

Hey everyone! Today's post is for YOU, and hopefully you will help me out here!

Recently I commented that I write my blog entries with more concern about being honest, raw, and shameless than writing my entries to impress anyone else or for getting attention or for presentation. I have that same philosophy in my personal and public life that just seems to be naturally-inclined to be transparent and vulnerable; not packaged or presented in any way other than as who I am. Most people in my life would agree that they don't feel like they have to "get to know me;" they feel my vulnerability and honesty immediately and a closeness is encouraged very quickly. No surprises or facets or personas. Just me.

That being said, I am extremely mindful and considerate and perfectly appropriate for all social occasions. (Friends who know me, back me up here, please) You really can take me anywhere and I can be adaptable.

Well... THAT being said, recently I offended a fellow blogger by posting to his blog something he deemed inappropriate. I have a fairly close, extremely playful, and genuinely enthusiastic rapport with him, having contact nearly on a daily basis. My post was intended as playful, silly, and raunchy, but certainly NOT as offensive and inappropriate. My post was deleted with no indication as to why, nor was I informed in any way.

Today I asked about the situation and discovered the apparent offensiveness as interpreted from my rather innocent post. To make matters worse, the offense wasn't actually against the blogger, but against the imagined responses from his readers. He explained he was concerned about "grandmothers" and "moms" reading my words about the perils of living with straight girls and the inevitable funk of Scooter. New York Subway/Bus riders and my readers and friends will know that is... LOL!

Now, this entry ISN'T to dispute my fellow blogger's reaction or stance against my post. We talked and I totally, TOTALLY understand. I learned something new about my pal, today.

Instead, this post is a kind of survey. I think I may have been naive and clueless as to the motivations of others for a personal blog. Please use the COMMENTS link to answer these questions about which I am extremely curious now:

If you have a personal blog (not a commercial or specialized blog), do you blog for your audience or for yourself? Or for what other reason?

Do you censor your blog, knowing that there are certain people or kinds of people who read it?

Do you delete comments that do not absolutely praise and support you and your blog (other than spam)?

Do you believe that being published online for the world to see, along with activating interactive tools for all to use, is automatically an invitation for differing opinions and expressions? If not, do you believe that blog should indicate its restrictions and warn of censorship?

That's all. I'm very curious now!

And fellow blogger pal whom I offended: it won't happen again.

Thanks everyone!

Troy

A Good Week

This post was on hold for over a week... sigh... I have been SUPER BUSY submerged in codes and colors as I completely rebuild, revamp, and upgrade my site: 7paths.com By the time you read this, it should be accessible, even if still a bit shakey as I continue updating everything.

Okay, so here is the delayed post ((happy now, Parley??:

This week was pretty wonderful. In addition to a general good feeling of accomplishment in my personal endeavors, I was also rewarded with the wonders that NYC offers. I was able to see ANNIE HALL on the big screen, which is a classic Woody Allen film. There is something so heartwarming and nostalgic about all of Woody's films. It really plays on a part of me that philosophizes about life, death, relationships... it's like, he can capture the darkest of thoughts about these things and then somehow allow that freedom to be the actual inspiration that gives you the power to either figure things out or to accept them without incident. He's truly a rare art. I was able to snap a shot of the big screen during the movie, too! Don't worry; I didn't use flash!

These classics nights at the theater are hosted by Hedda Lettuce, whom you know graces the pages of my blog quite a bit. When I find someone or something that inspires or makes me laugh, it is held with great respect by me. I am seriously grateful for Hedda, who can be completely trusted to make an entire room laugh till their faces and stomachs hurt.

Carlos, Troy, Taren, Hedda hangin' out after the show

Now get this... as Carlos and I were eating at Burritoville, he noticed an old film poster on the wall featuring an artistic rendition of the actress Maria Felix. Check out Maria next to Hedda!

UNCANNY

MORE HEDDA NIGHT PIX:

Vanessa, Carlos, Cyprus, Nick, and I got to see VENUS HUM, too! That was FANTASTIC!! I loved her (them) before hearing them live, but now a new dimension has been added to my appreciation. Check out my photos of Annette singing her heart out!

CocteauBoy all Venus Hummed UP

Nick, Vanessa, Cyprus, Carlos

VENUS HUM @ PIANOS

Venus Hum sang/performed 3 new songs that were immediate hits with all of us and several of our favorites! I got to speak with her and thank her for her art, spending several minutes with her adorable and friendly husband discussing their hopeful, upcoming return to NYC! YAY!

Good times... Good times...

More current updates will be posted in subsequent posts...

The Interview of Mykey

Mykey has offered up his soul for interview!

So here you go! Remember the way this works? I post the interview questions HERE; Myke will then copy the questions to HIS blog and respond to them THERE.

QUESTIONS:

Would you please list your top FIVE favorite bands of all-time, along with links and reasons for their placement at the top? What do these bands do for you that other bands do not? What might be your favorite line, chorus, or lyrics from one of these bands?

You are very resistent and/or dismissive of intimacy and positive affection. Why do you think this is the case, and what conditions would need to be met before you felt safe and truly vulnerable with another person or boyfriend?

Have you ever exacted revenge on someone? If so, what were the circumstances and was the effort worth it? If not, why? And if not, are there circumstances where you wanted to very seriously, but did not?

What is the most hurtful thing you have ever unintentionally said to another person and wish you hadn't said it?

Do you know that you are beautiful and wanted; that you are meaningful to several, if not many, people? If so, how often do you allow yourself to bask in that truth? If not, why do you think you lie to yourself that you are not these things?

THERE YOU GO!

Whooosh!

Troy Radio PART TWO

In an effort to create a way for my clients and students to begin hearing, downloading, and purchasing audio sessions from our local groups, I continue to experiment with creating a "radio" that streams well and will eventually look pretty good.

Check out the latest experimentation and let me know what you think!

Interview Me!

Well, it seems the big thing rotating across blogland is the interview process. It's actually a brilliant idea that weaves everyone together across the blogs. I love it. It's WAY better than that stupid Q&A that gets sent perpetually around in email where everyone just piles more responses on top of responses and then forwards that. This interview craze across the blogs is much more thoughtful and personal.

If you are interested in being interviewed, just follow the rules below my interview.

The Playful Parley is my interviewer of the day. Here are his questions:

PARLEY:
1- Have you had any negative reactions from people when you told them about your nontraditional spiritual/belief system? Did you simply “move on”, or try to help them understand?

TROY:
Wow. When I think about this, I realize I haven't really ever had a negative response. The worst responses have just been a playful taunting or courteous dismissal and then a moving on to other topics. I'm not sure if that's because of how I present it and live it, or because of the nature of the philosophy, itself. I have no investment in converting anyone, so I think people feel more inclined to either explore with me or to just move on to more common ground.

The Michael Teachings are not a "belief system," which is synonomous with "Religion," which The Michael Teachings are not, either. The body of knowledge known as The Michael Teachings is offered as a SINGLE perspective of the universe among MANY valid perspectives and philosophies. The information is an evolving body of wisdom that has no authority and it invites one to validate it through one's own experiences, rather than accepting it just because someone said it was true, or just because it exists. All of the insights and wisdom are rooted in a completley non-threatening stance and because the details of it's basic structure are quite logical and almost immediately practical, I think it must be very hard to respond negatively to it. There is no effort to proselytize or convince anyone of anything. It's a very peaceful philosophy that inherently diffuses any objection.

Many of my very close friends have very little to do with my work with channeling and The Michael Teachings. FOr that matter, many of my close friends aren't even vegetarian or vegan, which is probably more actively important to me than even my personal spirituality! My friends just experience me as a whole person; not defined by anything less than everything about me, and I extend the same acceptance and love to them. Some very few of my close friends, especially my best friends, are very close to my work with channeling and The Michael Teachings (and animal rights, incidentally). They participate in my groups in person and online and seriously work to apply the knowledge they gain from The Michael Teachings.

The most uncomfortable situations are when out at a lounge or bar or in a new social situation where people ask me what I do for a living. There are so many misunderstandings about my work because of media and fear, so I cringe and get very shy about sharing. I usually try to explain, first, that I am a counselor, but that doesn't usually fly because they ask more details, so I explain myself as a "metaphysical counselor." This will usually quiet down the person who doesn't like big words, but most then probe more. So I just say what I do.

There are three classic reactions I can expect, from least likely to most likely:

1. Flat-out (usually playfully taunting) statement that "that stuff is bullshit"
2. Courteous dismissal
3. and the most-often heard: "oooeeehhhhwwwww! what can you tell me about ME!??"

... and then I just run!

PARLEY:
2- You seem to remain friends with your “exes”. Is this something you’ve specifically worked at, or has it just turned out that way because of the individuals?

TROY:
This situation seems to generate itself effortlessly, but I have to admit that the bond remains more because of the efforts WITHIN the relationship, more than after. Ultimately, it takes two of us to remain friends, so it's not all about my efforts.

My relationship with someone who chooses to be my boyfriend turns more into a journey than anything else. I have learned to think of a boyfriend as an evolution being shared between two people, rather than as a conclusion that now just needs to be protected. I assume my boyfriend is the LAST BOYFRIEND EVER, but I just don't close us in with a sedentary heaviness that a lot of relationships try to have.

I do put a lot of love and work into all of my relationships, focusing on growth, acceptance, adventur, and inspiration. It's not an easy thing at all, but it has always been something I found worthy of that effort, so I give my everything... my EVERYTHING... nothing is spared and everything is vulnerable in me.

I think my boyfriends have always known that I really put my heart and soul into Loving. I don't think they ever meant to take me for granted, and I never ultimately blamed them for my feeling hurt or loss. I actively supported their personal paths and found it more important for them to know they are loved than to punish them. I also believed somehow that to reject them for not being exactly what I wanted them to be would be somehow rejecting a part of myself in the process. I just didn't want to feel so splintered with anger and loss.

In the end, I think each boyfriend eventually wanted to love me as much I seemed to love them all along. Remaining friends with them allowed them the freedom to express THEIR ability to Love me.
And then we all win!

Don't get me wrong; I kicked, screamed, cried, and felt so devestated with loss at times that I seriously thought I was going to die... but that was long ago while in the process of learning to Love. I've come a LONG way. For instance, my relationship with Nick transitioned fairly calmly, with compassionate tears and soft grieving, but it was all very gentle.

My philosophy has always been: If I truly love you, then why would a change in our relationship with each other change anything at all?

So I (try to) choose Love.

I am very grateful when I look back and see my past still alive with people.


PARLEY:
3- How (if at all) has your blog changed based on the individuals you know are reading it? Do you “edit” for your audience? Why or why not?

TROY:
This might be hard to believe, but until recently, I almost ALWAYS forgot that people were reading my blog. Or I should say, it just wasn't really a factor. When I write an entry, it's just... Me. When I talk out my emotions and detail my day, it's all for the sake of record and memories and to work out emotions and feelings or track my dreams.

Over the past few months, however, it has become more known to me that I have a lot of readers I never knew I had! This is more often in the back of my mind when I write and now I do little things like share music, favorite things, or concepts. I'm more appreciative of the fact that people are reading and getting something from my entries describing my insecurities and woes and celebrations and silliness! Who knew!

I never edit my entries, except grammatically, if I catch my mistakes. It's ALL there. As I said in the previous response: I give EVERYTHING in a relationship and I think of a blog as some weird kind of relationship with myself.

All of that being said, I only edit to the extent that I actually edit in "real" life. I DO keep some things to myself or a chosen few, like sexual experiences, crazy habits and crazy thoughts, and certain crushes.


PARLEY:
4- Is it ever OK to lie to someone you love? If so, when?

TROY:
Honesty is HUGELY IMPORTANT TO ME!!!!!! I can smell a lie a mile away, and that's even if you are just lying to yourself and not to me. I cannot STAND dishonesty... HOWEVER, I have lied and I have loved those whom I have discovered lied to me. The only reason one ever lies is because of Shame, with Manipulation coming in a close second, but even that is usually as a means to cover Shame. When I feel a need to lie, I question why I would feel Shame and try to own that. If someone else lies to ME, I usually try to have compassion for the Shame that person is trying to hide.

But I still DESPISE lying. Why? I think it's because of what it implies. I love feeling trust and closeness around me, so when someone lies, it's like a rip in the fabric of energy we share. Beyond the obvious, lying really is violating on so many levels.

And come to think of it... it's not the actual lying that I despise; it's when someone lies about lying! If I call you out on a lie and you own up... hey, that's a step toward Love. You keep on lying... that's pushing us toward being truly invisible to each other.


PARLEY:
5- Would you like to have children? Why or why not?

TROY:
I would totally make the best dad EVER, even if the child would eventually be diagnosed as insane because of my upbringing, d'oh! But unless Carlos surprises me with some interesting news, there won't be any children. I don't have a passion for having children, nor do I have a resistence. If I were financially and emotionally available enough to care for the life of a child, I think I would GLADLY offer up my life and home for children.

If you are interested in being interviewed by me, here are the rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me.”
2.I will respond by asking you five questions here. They will be different
questions than the ones above.
3. You will update YOUR blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Troy Radio

Hey, if any of you would like to enjoy some music, you are welcome to pop over to my work site where I have created a "TrueGroove Lounge." Requires Windows Media Player and a Broadband connection. There are two playlists: one is entirely Cocteau Twins and the other is a compilation. Both are sets of the type of music I listen to while channeling, writing, sleeping, meditating, etc. Okay, but for the record COCTEAU TWINS are my entire soul in song. There is nothing created by them that does not reflect my inner landscape. So, if you want to see what it feels like to live in my heart, listen to Cocteau Twins' playlist. If you want to see what it's like to live in my apartment, listen to the Electro-Ambient-Groove playlist. BOTH are gorgeous, tricklingly delicious, transcendent, and quite groovy! Once you get to the site, leave the window open for your listening pleasure, but just push the play button on whichever player you wish to have take you into a swim of music from between the worlds...

LINK> TrueGroove Lounge

Groovy Wizardry n Starlight

Carlos and I attended a performance called DANCE OFF last night at PS 122 in the East Village. Some of the pieces were just wonderful! Review to come!

After, we popped around the corner to Starlight where the frickin' adorable local celebrity Soce, The Elemental Wizard (my gay, jewish, white-boy, Harvard-graduate rapper friend) was holding his impromptu gathering for no reason in particular. He'd invited all his peeps to bring an artistic rendering of themselves doing something they enjoyed doing as a child. I failed to do one, but Carlos whipped one up while we ate dinner. He drew a maniacal child chasing rabbits past a tree. LOL! It was so cute! Props to Socè (pronounced so-say) who makes me want to big up myself, yo, and talk all yo and shit, whenever I talk to him.

Even though I look like I am a scolded puppy or a beatnick reject in these pictures, I really kinda like it, so I wanted to post them. They are from last night.

Carlos n Troy

Venus Hum & Stars!

Oh I LOVE it when some of my favorite bands come passing through NYC! I am so excited I am about to pop!

VENUS HUM is coming to NYC! They are playing at PIANOS in the Lower East Side (my favorite area of NYC these days!) I can't believe they are playing there. It's so intimate!

If you are not familiar with Venus Hum and you enjoy playful, thoughtful, danceable, beautiful vocals and poetic lyrics, you should definitely check them out. Plus, they are just FUN!

VENUS HUM


ANNETTE of VENUS HUM


VENUS HUM

Register with Melody Hits
Do an ARTIST Search for Venus Hum
Choose Venus Hum COLLECTION
Start watching videos! It’s worth the registration!

Start with MONTANA! SO fun!
MELODY HITS

And I am so excited to see STARS! If you use the link, make sure you have your speakers on! Music starts immediately. If you use the navigation (a dropdown menu comes when you rest your pointer on the Navigation image), choose ALBUM from the image menu and you can play all songs from their current and past albums! YAY!

This band is immediately nostalgic and warm when you listen to them. Super-catchy "indie" band from Canada with deceptively poignant and brooding lyrics; singable songs that almost turn into personal anthems. I intend to go to both shows at Bowery Ballroom and Southpaw! Woo Hoo!

I love this review of STARS:

“Stars are soft-revolutionaries and music is their rallying cry. Amy Millan, Chris Seligman, Torquil Campbell and Evan Cranley are four young people who, through their music, are trying to save us from our mundane and complacent fears. When at a loss for words, one music writer said the only way to describe Stars was "beautiful hope". Their music has been described as "breath-takingly effervescent" and they have been called the kind of band that "blue lights and fog machines are made for". Somewhere dancing between these designations is Stars; otherworldly blissfulness and a sophisticated, epicurean cool. To them, art is the way to change the world because it is sincere and heartfelt. With them, it has no pretenses and is filled with passion and longing.”

WATCH THEM LIVE on KCRW
(real player required)
Choose between HEART and SET YOURSELF ON FIRE
note: HEART is a particulary excellent performance

And don't get me started that DEAD CAN DANCE are coming to Radio City Music Hall! More on that, later.

NYCool Reviews

Some of these reviews took me so long to get turned in that they are actually linked to that ARCHIVES of NewYorkCool, but that's okay. Now I am back on track and more reviews of film, theater, social events, concerts, performances, etc. will be flooding my blog soon enough! NewYorkCool is really gaining some prestige; being linked to several major artists and publications, landing us about 40,000 hits per month! YAY!

Click images below to reach reviews:

Mark Ryden

My friend, Myke, was lucky enough to go to another Mark Ryden showcase in California. I am a big fan of this dark, sensual, and disturbing imagry. His symbolism is brilliant and his depiction of innocence amidst corruption is just upsetting and gorgeous.

The only exhibit I saw was BLOOD, when it came to NYC. The new one is called WONDERTOONEL and it appears to include pieces from BLOOD.

To see all of the following images in larger format, just follow this link and click the thumbnails when you get there. Make sure your popup blockers are off, or you set permission for that site.

WOUND


WEEPING


BAPTISM


BJORK

Blogger Blunders

I am sorry, but Blogger is a MESS these days! What is going ON! Cannot reach the site, Comments goes all screwy, Posting is slow or crippled or disabled, and multiple entries pile up out of nowhere...

Is it time to move?

Reunions and Unions

LOVE

Wow, have I been busy lately! I will later post several new reviews just being published this week.

My boyfriend came home from his Cancun trip and, as usual, we fell in love all over again this weekend. If you noticed, compared to his trip to Colombia, I was SO good about not whining and worrying the whole time in my blog or otherwise. Nope. I learned my lesson from that Colombia fiasco. I dealt with those demons of insecurity, and let me tell you: the reward for keeping myself guided and assured during Carlos's Cancun trip was beyond my expectation.

Not only did *I* feel better about myself because I didn't go off the deep end with worries, but my stance of trust and security in our relationship extended to inspire Carlos, as well. He expressed that it felt "so good" to come home to that kind of trust and security. He's such a good guy; so honest, sincere, and loyal that it's actually insulting of me to doubt him, especially when he has given me NO REASON WHATSOEVER.

It helped me feel rewarded, too, that he was able to call me, twice, while he was on vacation. But seriously, I had decided that even if he didn't/couldn't call, I was going to be okay with that. I was prepared to tell him I didn't particularly LIKE that lack of contact, but I wasn't going to take it (too) personally. In the end, I didn't have to deal with that as an issue, at all. He called. It felt like icing on the cake.

We spent most of the weekend together, too. I don't really know why this means so much to me, but I loved that he was taking a nap, while I worked on the computer. Or I love that when we go to bed, if I wish to stay awake and watch TV, he just lies in my arms and sleeps soundly. Or I work on the computer, then come to bed a bit later. Or that we didn't do anything extraordinary beyond just lying around, talking, being affectionate, and playfully engaging each other as we took turns playing One-Player PlayStation 2 games. We played 2-player games, of course, but sitting so contently together while playing one-player games is RARE to share!

The real treat was the surprise of Carlos bringing me a bouquet of flowers for this weekend's Month-iversary! Yes, we celebrate every month. I was thinking I would mention it to him and we'd get all gooshy as a celebration, but he had already thought about it and brought me FLOWERS? He totally surprised me! But then, I have no idea why I would be surprised by that. Today, my apartment smells fully of the blossoming flowers. Wonderful!

DREAMS:

I have had three bizarre dreams this past week:

ONE:
I dreamt that I saw a woman walking her three dogs; one was completely without a leash, the other two had leashes, but only one was being held onto. She was apparently a bit blind, from what I could tell. Seeing her two dogs walking without having to be led made me think of Pluto and I sighed with sadness. I commented to her that I loved that she didn't have to use leashes for her dogs. She commented that she DID use leashes, but she would occasionally let the one walk a bit freer. I said, yeah, but I guess I was talking about this black dog without the leash. The woman screwed up her face and said slowly, "what black dog?" I said, "The one whose been walking right by your side the entire time." She said, "I don't have a black dog..." she paused and with tears in her eyes said, "...but I used to..." That's when I realized the dog was a a "ghost" and my heart sank. By this time the dog had walked several yards away and was sitting, looking up and around the sky. I asked, with restrain against just wanting to sob, "Did your dog have a red backpack/satchell kind of thing?" The woman covered her face and said, "Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god... yes." We were both crying really hard by this time and I shouted through my tears that he was still with her... her dog was still with her and I could see him... I could see he loved her so much. She was getting weak with sobbing; I was sobbing, missing Pluto SO MUCH.

I actually woke myself up with those facial movements from sobbing in my dream.

TWO:
Dreamt I was in my living room playing with a very calm, extremely fat and adorable Saint Bernard puppy and I kept accidentally calling it Pluto!

Note: Cyprus dreamed the same dream that very night. She described the puppy as being fat, jowelly, and lots of skin (like a Saint Bernard puppy)! She felt the puppy was a girl.

THREE:
I dreamt a black crow was trying to befriend me. Everyone kept warning me that the crow was dangerous, but I kept thinking I wanted to decide for myself. The crow kept landing on my shoulder and sticking its giant beak at my mouth. When I didn't flinch, he would just land and almost "kiss" me. At one point I realized I could communicate with the Crow and that we shared a telepathy. It became my secret that the Crow and I could talk to each other, but he openly rode with me on my shoulder all over the place.

...Back to Waking State...