Monday, April 11, 2005

Interview Me!

Well, it seems the big thing rotating across blogland is the interview process. It's actually a brilliant idea that weaves everyone together across the blogs. I love it. It's WAY better than that stupid Q&A that gets sent perpetually around in email where everyone just piles more responses on top of responses and then forwards that. This interview craze across the blogs is much more thoughtful and personal.

If you are interested in being interviewed, just follow the rules below my interview.

The Playful Parley is my interviewer of the day. Here are his questions:

PARLEY:
1- Have you had any negative reactions from people when you told them about your nontraditional spiritual/belief system? Did you simply “move on”, or try to help them understand?

TROY:
Wow. When I think about this, I realize I haven't really ever had a negative response. The worst responses have just been a playful taunting or courteous dismissal and then a moving on to other topics. I'm not sure if that's because of how I present it and live it, or because of the nature of the philosophy, itself. I have no investment in converting anyone, so I think people feel more inclined to either explore with me or to just move on to more common ground.

The Michael Teachings are not a "belief system," which is synonomous with "Religion," which The Michael Teachings are not, either. The body of knowledge known as The Michael Teachings is offered as a SINGLE perspective of the universe among MANY valid perspectives and philosophies. The information is an evolving body of wisdom that has no authority and it invites one to validate it through one's own experiences, rather than accepting it just because someone said it was true, or just because it exists. All of the insights and wisdom are rooted in a completley non-threatening stance and because the details of it's basic structure are quite logical and almost immediately practical, I think it must be very hard to respond negatively to it. There is no effort to proselytize or convince anyone of anything. It's a very peaceful philosophy that inherently diffuses any objection.

Many of my very close friends have very little to do with my work with channeling and The Michael Teachings. FOr that matter, many of my close friends aren't even vegetarian or vegan, which is probably more actively important to me than even my personal spirituality! My friends just experience me as a whole person; not defined by anything less than everything about me, and I extend the same acceptance and love to them. Some very few of my close friends, especially my best friends, are very close to my work with channeling and The Michael Teachings (and animal rights, incidentally). They participate in my groups in person and online and seriously work to apply the knowledge they gain from The Michael Teachings.

The most uncomfortable situations are when out at a lounge or bar or in a new social situation where people ask me what I do for a living. There are so many misunderstandings about my work because of media and fear, so I cringe and get very shy about sharing. I usually try to explain, first, that I am a counselor, but that doesn't usually fly because they ask more details, so I explain myself as a "metaphysical counselor." This will usually quiet down the person who doesn't like big words, but most then probe more. So I just say what I do.

There are three classic reactions I can expect, from least likely to most likely:

1. Flat-out (usually playfully taunting) statement that "that stuff is bullshit"
2. Courteous dismissal
3. and the most-often heard: "oooeeehhhhwwwww! what can you tell me about ME!??"

... and then I just run!

PARLEY:
2- You seem to remain friends with your “exes”. Is this something you’ve specifically worked at, or has it just turned out that way because of the individuals?

TROY:
This situation seems to generate itself effortlessly, but I have to admit that the bond remains more because of the efforts WITHIN the relationship, more than after. Ultimately, it takes two of us to remain friends, so it's not all about my efforts.

My relationship with someone who chooses to be my boyfriend turns more into a journey than anything else. I have learned to think of a boyfriend as an evolution being shared between two people, rather than as a conclusion that now just needs to be protected. I assume my boyfriend is the LAST BOYFRIEND EVER, but I just don't close us in with a sedentary heaviness that a lot of relationships try to have.

I do put a lot of love and work into all of my relationships, focusing on growth, acceptance, adventur, and inspiration. It's not an easy thing at all, but it has always been something I found worthy of that effort, so I give my everything... my EVERYTHING... nothing is spared and everything is vulnerable in me.

I think my boyfriends have always known that I really put my heart and soul into Loving. I don't think they ever meant to take me for granted, and I never ultimately blamed them for my feeling hurt or loss. I actively supported their personal paths and found it more important for them to know they are loved than to punish them. I also believed somehow that to reject them for not being exactly what I wanted them to be would be somehow rejecting a part of myself in the process. I just didn't want to feel so splintered with anger and loss.

In the end, I think each boyfriend eventually wanted to love me as much I seemed to love them all along. Remaining friends with them allowed them the freedom to express THEIR ability to Love me.
And then we all win!

Don't get me wrong; I kicked, screamed, cried, and felt so devestated with loss at times that I seriously thought I was going to die... but that was long ago while in the process of learning to Love. I've come a LONG way. For instance, my relationship with Nick transitioned fairly calmly, with compassionate tears and soft grieving, but it was all very gentle.

My philosophy has always been: If I truly love you, then why would a change in our relationship with each other change anything at all?

So I (try to) choose Love.

I am very grateful when I look back and see my past still alive with people.


PARLEY:
3- How (if at all) has your blog changed based on the individuals you know are reading it? Do you “edit” for your audience? Why or why not?

TROY:
This might be hard to believe, but until recently, I almost ALWAYS forgot that people were reading my blog. Or I should say, it just wasn't really a factor. When I write an entry, it's just... Me. When I talk out my emotions and detail my day, it's all for the sake of record and memories and to work out emotions and feelings or track my dreams.

Over the past few months, however, it has become more known to me that I have a lot of readers I never knew I had! This is more often in the back of my mind when I write and now I do little things like share music, favorite things, or concepts. I'm more appreciative of the fact that people are reading and getting something from my entries describing my insecurities and woes and celebrations and silliness! Who knew!

I never edit my entries, except grammatically, if I catch my mistakes. It's ALL there. As I said in the previous response: I give EVERYTHING in a relationship and I think of a blog as some weird kind of relationship with myself.

All of that being said, I only edit to the extent that I actually edit in "real" life. I DO keep some things to myself or a chosen few, like sexual experiences, crazy habits and crazy thoughts, and certain crushes.


PARLEY:
4- Is it ever OK to lie to someone you love? If so, when?

TROY:
Honesty is HUGELY IMPORTANT TO ME!!!!!! I can smell a lie a mile away, and that's even if you are just lying to yourself and not to me. I cannot STAND dishonesty... HOWEVER, I have lied and I have loved those whom I have discovered lied to me. The only reason one ever lies is because of Shame, with Manipulation coming in a close second, but even that is usually as a means to cover Shame. When I feel a need to lie, I question why I would feel Shame and try to own that. If someone else lies to ME, I usually try to have compassion for the Shame that person is trying to hide.

But I still DESPISE lying. Why? I think it's because of what it implies. I love feeling trust and closeness around me, so when someone lies, it's like a rip in the fabric of energy we share. Beyond the obvious, lying really is violating on so many levels.

And come to think of it... it's not the actual lying that I despise; it's when someone lies about lying! If I call you out on a lie and you own up... hey, that's a step toward Love. You keep on lying... that's pushing us toward being truly invisible to each other.


PARLEY:
5- Would you like to have children? Why or why not?

TROY:
I would totally make the best dad EVER, even if the child would eventually be diagnosed as insane because of my upbringing, d'oh! But unless Carlos surprises me with some interesting news, there won't be any children. I don't have a passion for having children, nor do I have a resistence. If I were financially and emotionally available enough to care for the life of a child, I think I would GLADLY offer up my life and home for children.


If you are interested in being interviewed by me, here are the rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me.”
2.I will respond by asking you five questions here. They will be different
questions than the ones above.
3. You will update YOUR blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

8 comments:

SquareSlant said...

Great questions and answers! It was very interesting. I love this blogging stuff because you run into poeple that you would never meet otherwise!

Yvonne said...

Very interesting response about staying friends with ex's, Cocteau. I agree totally with the philosophy behind it, and you explain is so clearly (beautifully, even), but the two relationships that are in my past are BEHIND me and I want NOTHING to do with those people (They both ended on very friendly terms, but they are SO over). I admire your openness and - as you said - vulnerability...

LOVED listening to the "Stars" song on the link below. It sounded rich and gorgeous - like Angelo Badalamenti with a backbeat. Totally GREAT. Thank you for turning me onto this as I've never heard of them before...

See you soon.

PJS said...

Heya, thanks for the well-thought-out responses to my hard-driving questions! I would have expected no less from you of course...

Mike said...

Interview me. Is that good enough for you?!

Anonymous said...

Bring a book.
Did you enjoy writing that? Cause I sure hated reading it.

CocteauBoy said...

Awwww... I know. Sorry. Boring.

troy

Jane Doe said...

INTERVIEW ME!!! After all, who doesn't love to talk about themselves?

Tara said...

Interview me!

I really liked your interview... most of the time I was nodding my head and thinking "me too, me too". So nice to be validated through empathy with another!