The Secret Is Out!

I have been offline for so long that I even noticed some blogs who USED to link to my blog (I won't mention any names) just dropped the link and left me high and dry... hmmm...

Okay... now to update you about "the secret." It's a two-parter!



Well, I couldn't post about my intentions because Carlos regularly checks out my blog, so I had to be very careful not to reveal "the plan."

In the time that he was gone, Carlos' best friend, Roxanna, contacted me through email just to say hi because we both missed Carlos and neither of us had even met each other, yet. I was SO happy she did that! As one can see from my previous posts, I was a wreck from missing Carlos. I had thought to myself that if only I could contact Roxanna while Carlos was gone, it might provide some comfort or I could at least focus on something tangible. So when she wrote me, I pounced on the opportunity with such enthusiasm, I am surprised she even responded! I eagerly invited her to dinner for our first meeting. Wouldn't Carlos be surprised that we had met while he was out of the country!? There was something satisfying about the whole plot on many levels.

She agreed to meet with me! YAY!

We went to dinner at East of Eighth and I was so nervous. I mean, this was "the best friend!" If she didn't approve of me, you know there could be lots of trouble! I had experienced that whole obstacle course with Nick and his posse, so I was dreading the potential troubles again. But Roxanna and I totally hit it off. We had a great talk, lots of laughs, nice vulnerable moments, and we both left very relieved and happy to have met each other.

In the process of having dinner, and after Roxanna apparently approved of me, she suggested an idea for Valentine's Day (weekend) that was absolutely brilliant:

We would not tell Carlos that we had met. Carlos would arrive on Saturday, his parents would pick him up, he would try to squeeze in a reunion with me before having to attend a previously scheduled Broadway show with Roxanna. As you can probably guess, I was seriously unhappy with having to be "squeezed in" after such an emotional grieving of Carlos, even though Carlos did not mean it that way at all. SO, the plan was that I would inform Carlos via Text Messaging upon his arrival that I was not going to be free that afternoon to see him. I took it even further and told him I would not be free Sunday, either. I suggested I would just have to "see him around" sometime in the week ahead after his return! There was something deliciously satisfying about telling him I would not be available, since I felt the need to punish him JUST a little bit for abandoning me all that time (even though he really didn't, I KNOWWWWWWW).

Okay, so Roxanna had explained to me that she and Carlos exchanged Valentine's gifts every year, so she suggested *I* be her gift to him this year! We elaborately planned a rendezvous for after they saw their show on Saturday. The plan was in action!

Saturday comes and I make sure not to have any contact with Carlos upon his arrival. That took every ounce of power in my Being! I wanted to just run to him and kiss and squish up all over him! But I remained calm, knowing the evil love plan was in stride. Poor Carlos began texting me more, asking, "babe, R U avoidn me?" awwww!!! I started getting nervous that he would seriously get annoyed at me.

Saturday unfolded and it was time for the reunion!



After a chaotic morning of creating a card and a gift and searching desperately for some acceptable flowers, I was off!

Unbeknownst to Carlos as he and Roxanna are standing in a crowded Starbucks in a long line, I was walking up the Avenue carrying a dozen roses and my little gift of a surprise reunion, my Valentine's Day flowers, and the special bonus treat of informing him that his best friend and boyfriend were already pals!!!

With some panicked, slightly chaotic cell phone stealthiness, Roxanna and I timed my entrance into Starbucks just as she said, "Your Valentine's Gift has arrived." I actually saw his face as she said it, and I saw he was thrust into bafflement...

Then he saw me... and the bafflement shifted into complete confusion and then absolute surprise and then happiness and then I think a BIT of overwhelm. It was all very delicious!

I was SO happy to see him; you cannot imagine! Because we were in public and because I could tell he was slightly overwhelmed even if super happy, all the while trying to balance his fresh cup of hot beverage in a massive crowd, I really restrained myself from just squishing the hell out of him with love. I missed him SO much!! Did I mention that!!??

The reunion and the surprise were a SUCCESS!!!



But the pain of my missing Carlos did not stop with the reunion as I had anticipated.

More on that in another entry...

PS. The Valentine's Gifts, besides the flowers, were a homemade card that expressed how long I have loved Carlos and how long I intend to continue (forever), and I made MAGNETS from the images included in this post! He loves refrigerator magnets (as I do) and so I made some of the two of us, together! Awwww!