Monday, September 19, 2005

Sandra On The Coaster

I had a very disturbing and confusing dream last night:

I dreamt that Sandra Bullock was on a Roller Coaster during a massive flooding around her. People were dying and everything was being washed away, but the Roller Coaster could not stop. I was in a disembodied state watching all of this. This would seem like just a corny dream, but this coaster ran for days while the people on it starved and thirsted to death because it wouldn't stop. I know a rescue was on the verge of happening, and the coaster had begun to slow in its motion after running for so long, but Sandra finally died. So did everyone else on the coaster. The last thing I remember is the bodies slumped and bloated in their seats as the coaster slowed to a creep and a rescue boat came whirring in from a distant.

What the...???!!!

2 comments:

Abimn said...

Troy,

Water in dreams usually is about emotions. In this case, you are feeling a flood of emotions because of your break up... and you are feeling disillusioned, you feel captive - unable to do anything about the current situation.

Being in a disembodied state could be related to passively sitting back, watching this happen to you, and doing nothing about it, not taking action.

There is something you identify with in Sandra Bullock that she was chosen for your dream – she represents you. Her first film was the movie Speed – and it is this role she is most identified with.

In this film, she drove a bus that had a bomb on board that would explode if the bus went slower than 50 mph or so.... She was just a passenger originally... but took over the bus when the bus driver died. She saved the day - even when she was faced with fears, uncertainty, etc... she still took action.... She could face anything, do anything... even if she was scared to death of what was happening around her. (I would recommend you watch the movie.. you might gain insight for yourself by doing so)

In your dream, she is not operating the roller coaster....she is just the passenger. She hasn't made the transition to savior in the dream. Imagine what would have happened in Speed if she hadn’t acted out of the courage that was present within her?

This dream implies that you have been sitting on the sidelines... just watching this shit happen to you and you haven’t done anything to save yourself.

In some ways, the roller coaster is keeping you out of the water... you perhaps have not fully experienced the emotions... but have been feeling as though you are above all that.... and avoiding facing them, avoiding getting anywhere near them. You may have felt you were above wallowing in your emotions... but if you don’t experience them, step into them... feel them, etc, you won’t be able to save yourself.

To save the day, you may have to go into the water... to get to the controls, to stop the roller coaster from moving... so the other passengers (parts of you) can be saved as well. This means not being afraid to face the emotions to truly feel the hurt – rather than just talking about the hurt. I have a feeling that the only way to save the day here - is to make sure you grieve properly the loss you have recently experienced.

You need to get off the roller coaster... massive flood or not.

Abimn

CocteauBoy said...

Ohhh, abimn, that was truly insightful. I rarely get to gain that kind of insight without doing all of the work, myself, so what a gift it is to have you take the time to offer feedback like this. I, eventually, get back to all of my insightful and wise thinking so I can make sense of things, but sometimes I just get tired. Your reaching out is just what I needed.

Thank you so much. Your interpretation was really on and I can feel a strange weight lifting just by understanding that little bit.

Troy