Thursday, January 13, 2005

The Great Roller Skate Experiment: Entry One

Carlos and I have started to experiment with meeting each other in Dreamland, or the Astral Plane, while we sleep. It's just for fun and who knows, it's worked for me before! It's an amazing experience.

We created a symbolic entry into our dreams, something we both look forward to doing together, which is Roller Skating. We imagine we are Roller Skating to get to one another as we fall asleep.

First night, we both had bad dreams. His was vague, but he knew it was scary and involved Zombies. Mine was vivid and involved Carlos and I having our first sexual exploration. We were both so hard that it was almost painful. I was trying to please him, but he was saying politely that I was kind of hurting him. He finished and courteously left. I was annoyed and then intent on finishing myself. So then Taren walks in. I embarrassingly told her I wanted to finish and she said, Go Ahead, I Won't Peek! She pulled the blankets up to her eyes after she climbed into the bed. I was sitting at the foot of the bed. I actually considered doing it, but then I realized that a neighbor (on the other side of some French Doors -- you know how dreams are) was actually in his bed and could see me. I was getting exasperated. The neighbor guy got up and I knew he was now coming to my room. He came in all lumbering and talking to Taren and me. In Waking Life, I know the guy as one of my Haters from within the Michael Community online; someone I have never met. He finally left and I was trying to fix a giant plant in a pot that he seemed to have knocked over a bit. It was getting late, so I went to turn up the lights. That's when I realized that the guy had actually stolen nearly all of my lightbulbs! The next thing I know I am outside looking up at my room and I see Nick is now masturbating. I was shocked and thought he must not know that people can see him doing it! I rushed up the stairs of the building to try to intervene, but as I reached my floor, he was leaving. I asked if he had masturbated and he said yeah, he was finished. I just couldn't believe it! Everyone was getting something in my dream, except for me! I couldn't even please myself!

Okay, so last night, the only thing I remember was Carlos and I walking across some grassy land near a shore, some trees were between us and the ocean and we we giggling and making plans for later that evening. I noticed a wave crashing HARD up into the trees and then the water just kept coming! It's force was terribly strong even as it was only shin-deep and rising! I was near my home, which was a kind of trailer, and I screamed for my dogs to get near me and to get inside. The rush of the water was so strong that Carlos was separated from me, but because we were so surprised and had no idea how bad this was going to get, we both shouted that we would see each other later. I got inside the trailer and one dog was in, but not the other, Spyder. I had to go back out into the deep, rushing water and carry her back. I don't know how I did it, because the current was powerful. I saw Carlos washing away through the trees and even then I kept thinking he would be okay. The last thing I remember was realizing my Mom was the other person in the trailer and as the water raised, the trailer lost its foundation and started to shift... the rest was not so much my dream, but that half-wake thing that you sometimes do as you ponder your dream. I kept imagining how the trailer would have eventually begun to move and it would not have floated, but would have immediately toppled and sunk into the current. I wondered how I could ever save my dogs in that kind of situation.

So my theory is that these intentions for Carlos and I to meet each other on the Astral Plane are first being met with symbolic obstacles that we are facing in the process of our growing union.

The symbolism to me is just so obvious.

I will keep this journal updated with the results of our journey!


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